Selfish Charity

All the people attending the festival today were sad because someone found a cure for Parkinson’s disease. There was no longer a reason to do a festival, march by the river in solidarity, listen to music and wear t-shirts with slogans.

The musicians abandoned the stage with sorrow, the stage technicians started to coil up the cables and the crowd slowly dispersed.

One quick woman removed the sign at the entrance to one of the donation marquees and changed the word “Parkinson” to “Cancer”. Almost immediately people crowded around the marquee and donations started to flow. One of them yelled: “maybe we should do a festival for cancer?”.

The rest of the people who already started dispersing quickly returned to the marquees and began changing the word Parkinson to Cancer all over the shirts, signs and donation baskets.

The musicians returned to the stage, the logo on the screen was changed and the technical crew seemed a bit confused.

One man approached the lectern and explained: “terminal diseases are like a cure to our boredom! Today, I want to thank all those who suffer from cancer, which enabled this festival and gave us a reason to spend time in the beautiful Sunday sunshine. Music please!”

“Because without terminal diseases, there would be no reason for charity, and without charity, what would we do with all the cash?”

“Education?” One woman asked.

“No – it is well known that people are happier when they know less, knowing more just raises more questions and concern”.

“Maybe investing in the military?” Shouted another. “This will provide people with the joy of victory and the suspense of a close match. Providing daily highlights from the war with every news bulletin will surely raise the interest, people will cheer, seek updates and buy lots of merchandise and newspapers”.

“But wait! What about the injured and the families of those who have fallen in battle?”

“They too, are another good reason to organise a festival with donations, marches and marquees”.

2012

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