Peace is an abstract idea. Bread is real.
Ingredients:
• 500g+ White flour (you’ll need a bit more at arms length for the kneading and shaping)
• 300ml Lukewarm Water
• 50g White Sugar
• 30-40ml Olive Oil
• 10g Dry Yeast
• 1/2 tbsp Kosher Salt (or any other spiritually affiliated salt. *contact the publisher for current offers of spiritual affiliation)
• Maple syrup or sugar syrup for glazing
Technology:
⁃ Scale
⁃ Large bowl
⁃ Rolling pin
⁃ Oven
⁃ Baking trey
⁃ Baking paper
⁃ Cling wrap
⁃ Clock
Method:
1. Get some yeast action going – mix lukewarm water, sugar and yeast in the bowl and observe the wonders of biology for 10-15 minutes. (Or do something else) wait until a thin layer of foam develops or some bubbles form. (If that doesn’t happen, your yeast is dead, or it’s winter and you live too far south.
2. Add flour and salt – into the bowl with the yeast goo and mix gently with your hands. Rejoice as it begins to solidify. Try to form a ball and have limited success.
3. Add oil – but not too much. Now it’s business.
4. Continue to knead like there’s no tomorrow – it’s the best part. Get right into it, get it out of the bowl and onto the kitchen bench, add flour when it gets too sticky, turn the music up with your elbow. Within 12 to 15 minutes of kneading, elastic satisfaction should be reached. Make it into a ball and place in a lightly oiled bowl.
5. Leave it and do something else – covered but with some air flow, for about 2-3 hours until it doubles in size. Times may change significantly depending on the season and the water and air temperature.
6. Weigh it – after it rose, peel it gently from the bowl onto a lightly floured surface and feel the softness (gently). It should be in the vicinity of 900g
7. Divide it to 3 equal parts and make 3 equal balls
8. Elongate proportionally – By making flat rectangles with a rolling pin and rolling each tightly to a string. Each string should be around 40cm and as equally chunky throughout as you can.
9. Braid it – this is too complicated to explain. Look it up, or ask somone with hair. I make an X and place the third string in the middle, so the braiding starts from the middle outwards. I often get confused and call it creativity.
10. Leave it – transfer to a baking trey and cover. In about an hour it should increase in size some more (again, depending on airflow and climate change).
11. Pre-heat oven – 200c (the two lined symbol without the fan). Modern ovens make me feel stupid for not intuitively understanding what each symbol do. I was very anxious the first time. (Maybe this should have come before step 10, but all our editors are volunteers and we are not quite sure. The point is – the oven should be hot before you put the bread in.
12. Bake it – for 27 to 30 minutes or until it looks ready and the house smells like it is Friday.
13. Glaze it – remove from oven and glaze gently with the syrup
14. Rest – move from the trey to cool on grill (with airflow from the bottom) and don’t touch it.
15. Seriously. Don’t touch it. Let it cool and fuck off to do something else for an hour. Have a coffee, a shower, take pictures of your creation and post it on interwebs, put your ear close the the chala and listen to it. Do anything else to control the temptation…
16. After you suffered, you can be proud. eat it with the people you love, or with those you want to make peace with. Enjoy with fresh Khummus (recipe here)
Disclaimer:
Peace is an abstract idea. The presenter is an amateur baker and the above is not culinary advice. Always consult your influencer about your diet, health, fashion, and climate science.
